Change can creep up on you and you find yourself dancing intricate steps with it before you’re even aware of its music playing. It’s only upon looking back that you can see when the change began. Even then, it’s not always a specific moment that brings about change. Sometimes a series of events or internal longings create a fecundity from which transformation grows.
For me, this current initiation – or cycle of change – began with a dream in 2003. The dream came to me in a time when I really felt in rhythm with my work and life. I was working with individual clients, mostly as a massage therapist and I was teaching healing apprenticeships. I designed my apprenticeship program to be useful for both personal and professional work. Most of the apprentices used the work for personal reasons, a few to add tools to their private practices.
As with many power dreams, I did not understand it at first. The dream continues to return to me from time to time and my understanding continues to grow.
I am walking along a high plateau in the Southwest. It’s rather barren. The temperature is hot, but not oppressive. I come suddenly to a precipice overlooking a very deep canyon. Oddly, the canyon has no outlet and it’s so deep that I cannot see to the bottom. I perceive only darkness but I sense movement at the bottom and a strong desire from whatever beings live there to get out. They call to me in a very visceral way. I feel that I must help them.
I look over the edge to see a way down. It’s very steep and offers very few footholds. I cannot see any possible way for me to descend, short of falling. But their call to me is too strong and I decide I must try. I sit on the precipice and then turn to lower myself over the edge. As I do so I shape shift into a spider and I spin my way down with ease.
As I get near the bottom I hear a scratchy, roiling sound. I look below me and see that the bottom is full of snakes slithering over and under each other. They are aware of my presence and I can feel their hopes that rescue has come.
When I get close enough, I feel one of the snakes slither onto my back. I immediately begin to climb up to the plateau above. I then descend and another snake climbs on. I do this for a long time. The snakes give me thanks and I feel their relief and joy, but I am growing very tired and there are still so many of them.
It occurs to me then that it is not necessary to carry each individual snake on my back. I could weave a ladder up the side of the canyon, so they could climb up themselves. I do this, creating two ladders: I weave one as I descend again and another as I go back up. When I reach the plateau I rest on the edge, now human again. I feel a sense of accomplishment and enjoy it as I watch the snakes climbing their way out and moving off behind me along the plateau.
I look around and notice how long this canyon, that isn’t a canyon, is. I cannot see where it begins or ends, it’s too long. I look across and find I want to be on the other side. It’s a narrow canyon, but way too far for me to jump. I know it’s the next place I need to be. I feel a strong pull but no sense of immediacy, so I stay where I am.
After sitting with the dream for several days, I understand it is telling me that I need to continue to shift my work. It feels like an affirmation of my desire to do more teaching and less individual work with clients. It also speaks to me of the need to give people tools so they have the ability to "climb out" on their own.
Snakes are a power totem for me and speak to me of transformation and the feminine. Much of my work at the time was with women. Most of my clients and most of my apprentices were women. I worked in several women’s circles and was very involved in the Women of Wisdom Foundation. Empowering people has always been a strong aspect of my work. Witnessing the transformation my clients and students went through was very satisfying. the dream seemed to be telling me I was generally on the right track.
The dream suggested that something more awaited me, but that seemed far away.
Feeling that I understood the dream, I let it go and continued with my life and work. It affirmed I was on the right track. Only now do I understand the dream was much more precognitive than affirming.
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